My mood is rather erratic, an epitome of the weather of similar temper, because I am bankrupt, gaining unnecessary weight and experiencing being at the bottom of the pit. I think I am suffering from mid-life crisis.

freezing cold shower to rid the fury from technical failure. and it might rain. my back already hurts from yesterday’s adventure.

haha i have the most unimaginative, non-exhaustive, affordable/crazy expensive hand drawn wish list.

i need to focus on my (kame and) kanji

I want to go on a sponsored holiday trip, to get away from the drama… But I realized that my largest drama might be the only one to pack along with me ):

I have to practice tough love, and to practice disappearing.

>50 KG now. THANKS TO NO EXERCISE, BEING HORIZONTAL AND FOOD. ):

I think I know what I am doing and the likely consequences, yet somehow I feel I am master of my own fate.

Let’s see: tuition x hardcore x freedom, ikea shopping, online chats, stayovers and video bums, getting blurry with my r/s, new jap teacher, family camping at home, itouch insomnia, worrying myself to death…

Tuition is on slow mo now, although I have started to tutor the kid in Chinese, but I like the slow pace now, bring on the festives!

Ikea Shopping: I had an insane meatball lunch with the girls, we bought baba a replacement cacti, and vans made me eat bland ice-cream. The weather was wonky, but at least I spent time talking to them. I like once a week chats (:

Online chats: Regulars VS Favourites. I like how Ros makes impromptu non-obligatory appointments (: 

Stayover @ baba’s, Video bumming @ Vans’: I am officially a refugee. 

blurry: there’re always problems with this w-a r/ship (makes total sense!).

New Jap Teacher: The new replacement for Sensei Rei, is +100 loud and -100 funny. We jump in our seats, literally!

Family camp: I said something really out of line to my dad, bossed Anna around today, barely talked to Amos except for supper. I am a hazard around people for more than 24 hours. 

iTouch Insomnia: Big Bang’s G Dragon, DBSK, Kame, Jin, new drama with Vans: Bindo Danshi…

et cetera. I got few pictures. Maybe after this procrastinated hair cut weekend (:

lelove

How can I stand here in the hours of quick showers and heavy storms, and not think of you? Is it even possible that you would not cross my mind when I am lain with fatigue after a bad night and a long day? I had a dream that you were right beside, but when I awoke, all I had was your sweater on and a faint memory of your perfume x nicotine smell close.
It’s powerful, memory that is. For the feeling of love and loss floats across the linear borders and shifts forward back, threading across the thin line between the love and the false needing.

Big Breakfast after MJ with the GM guys @ Simei, xhardcore tuition today, tomorrow and tuesday…

The festive decorations are already up, and sitting in in elbow-distant away from the other customers in Starbucks is really playing mind games, tricking me into crowd shopping and gifting. Somehow I am there in thought. My week has been really weird, beginning at different hours, and my elation level diving and escalating at different hours of the day. I had a good Mac breakfast with W just the other day, and for the rest of the week, I barely had time to eat. I talked to my paternal grandfather just today, and I guess when it comes down to family, everything should be placed in a different perspective. I should really go get a haircut, since tuition would be on hiatus mode starting Wednesday. I am having trouble thinking of Christmas gifts, though the venue: Pan Pacific and BKK is decided. 

I have a list of things to do, and work to complete (I am taking up sideline projects to kill time and earn moolah, as well as build up resume). I am dying at this standstill, but I don’t think anyone can understand from outside the looking glass. I am starting to write again, for no apparent reason except probable grief and boredom. 

My braces are killing me ):