I’m not sure if it’s the annual eggnog-poisoning or the Christmas carols on repeat, but I get retrospective around this time of the year.
2013 has one upped 2012 in several ways. From graduation to travels and self identity, I’ve come a long way from the serene days in January.
Recounting the year through photo stream, I ushered in the New Year in LA, skipped around California, danced in the streets of Chicago, weaseled through the belly of New York, woke up in the Botanical Gardens of District of Columbia, slept in Seoul Incheon airport, skipped around the shoppes of Hong Kong and lived the best weeks in Singapore. All while attempting to find myself.
I am truly blessed to have also make new friendships and fortify relationships. I’ve loved in a different light this year. Being more vocal about affection has made my life much easier.
I’ve always been more affectionate to those I truly care about, but explicitly vocalizing my feelings was a struggle throughout these years. There’s always the fear of not being loved back in the same measure. I learn my best and worst habits from my mom. :/ but I do think I’ve scaled considerable distances to confront affection and affirm my best girls in the way I know how…
Sure, drama still follow me like bees to honey. But I think my changing priorities have been a dual distraction and coping mechanism, in the most healthy way.
Finding community at work and at church are one of the few changes that I’m enjoying. I see myself making meaningful relationships and being vulnerable to some friends–a leap I’m willing to try because of the growing faith I have in the people that matter.
I’m most thankful for the gift of conversations and friends this season. Fear has been my biggest excuse and crutch, but perhaps 2014 will be fighting my own worst demons and an adventure for the books.
There and back again, perhaps.